


4am Knows All my Secrets

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [98]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 18:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21480631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Beau can't sleep alone.Edited 12-4-2019
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & The Mighty Nein
Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [98]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1436668
Comments: 6
Kudos: 187





	4am Knows All my Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Edited 12-04-2019 because what the fuck was going on with those tense changes?

They don’t really talk about it, but they’ve all noticed it.

It started early, before Beau even admitted that she liked them at all, long before she ever said the word ‘love’ to any of them. 

In Shady Creek Run, Keg had gotten her own room, Beau got her own room, and Caleb and Nott shared. In the early hours of the morning, presumably after her companion for the night had left with her pockets full of gold, Beau woke Caleb by opening their bedroom door. She walked in quietly, cursing under her breath when the floor under her feet squeaked, and curled up on the wall opposite the bed to fall asleep. He never knew if she knew that he was awake, but they never talked about it, both content to pretend that it hadn’t happened. She was gone when he woke up to the morning sun shining in his eyes, like she’d never been there at all.

She was given her own room in the chateau, right down the hall from Marion’s suite where Jester was sleeping in her old bedroom. Fjord woke up when the sky was still dark from hissing whispers in his dreams and found her stretched out on the floor next to his bed, snoring loudly into the crook of her elbow. He didn’t know when she’d wandered in but he picked up one of the blankets on his bed and dropped it on her, trying to make it look like it could have been an accident and not him purposefully trying to help her, he didn’t think she’d like him to know that she was there. She was gone in the morning when he woke up to a knock on the door and his blanket was folded up and sitting at the foot of his bed.

Caduceus was already awake, still sitting up on his bed when the door creaked open one night. Beau didn’t look at the bed as she started to creep in, but when she finally glanced up and found him staring at her, her eyes widened and she swiftly stepped back out of the door and shut it behind her. He heard her tiptoe down a few doors to Nott’s room instead and he heard her unmistakable snores from that direction a few minutes later. He didn’t mention it when she came down to breakfast the next morning.

It’s Yasha who mentioned it first, when she comes back.

“Does Beau sneak into your rooms at night?” she asked. Beau was on a morning run around the neighborhood, leaving all her friends to have breakfast without her.

Fjord blinked in surprise. “I thought it was just me. Yeah, sometimes I wake up and she’s asleep on the floor and she’s gone in the morning.”

Jester looked confused. “Oh, well, we share a room but I have noticed that she won’t go to sleep unless I’m there. I thought she was just worried about me.”

Yasha sighed in relief. “Oh. Good. I was worried that she was doing it because she didn’t trust me again yet.”

Caduceus hummed thoughtfully. “She wouldn’t sleep there if she didn’t trust you, Yasha,” he said with a kind smile. “I… suspect that Beau cannot sleep when she’s alone.”

Caleb and Nott exchanged a look. “I thought it was something like that,” Nott said. 

Caleb nodded in agreement. “Why do you think that is?” he asked.

Caduceus shrugged. “That’s a question for her, I believe. I’m not an expert on her motivations.”

“Beau’s not even an expert on Beau’s motivations,” Fjord said, fondly. “ _ She _ might not even know why she does it. She definitely won’t like that we know about it or else she wouldn’t sneak in after we’ve already gone asleep.”

They all looked up when the chimes rang out from the foyer and Beau walked into the dining room a few minutes later, sweating and breathing deeply but smiling at them. It’d been a while since she’d just let loose and run as fast as she could without something chasing her. It was nice.

“Morning,” she said, pleasantly. “What’s for breakfast?” She leaned over Caleb shoulder to look at his plate and plucked a slice of grapefruit off of it. Caleb just let her, he was used to it by now. He did scowl at her when she held it back in front of his face a moment later. “Sugar.” He frowned but picked up the sugar shaker to sprinkle some on the grapefruit. She ruffled his hair and shoved the grapefruit into her mouth, grinning as she took the chair next to him. “Thanks, man. What’re we talking about?” she asked, her mouth full.

“About how you-” Caduceus started, smiling innocently.

“-Are just so, so badass!” Fjord interrupted, grinning widely and elbowing Caduceus in the side.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Really?” she asked and Caleb sighed. He could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn’t believe Fjord’s hurried lie. “What kind of things are you saying? I wanna hear about how badass I am.”

“We were talking about…” Jester paused and come up with a quick list. “... how strong your muscles are, how… how smart and good at coming up with plans and ideas you are, how uh…” her voice squeaked in nervousness. “... how cool you are.”

“Right!” Nott exclaimed. “And you… I can’t think of anything she’s good at. Punching! She’s good at punching.”

Caduceus frowned at them. “I thought that we were talking about how she cannot sleep alone and sneaks into our rooms at night.”

The others tensed and watched Beau’s face carefully but her expression didn’t change. She didn’t give any indication that she had heard Caduceus say anything. Not surprise, not defensiveness, not anger, not embarrassment. Her face was entirely blank. 

“I don’t do that,” she said, her voice scarily even as she started eating a piece of toast from the plate in the center of the table.

Jester frowned and twisted her fingers nervously. “Beau… you don’t need to-”

“I don’t do that, Jester,” she said, still with no emotion in her voice.

Jester nodded and turned to stare at her plate. “Right.” She cleared her throat. “Not that there would be anything wrong if you did do that! Everybody has their thing, right? We’ve been through a lot of shit, nobody is gonna come out of that feeling 100% okay, yeah?”

Beau shrugged but her face still didn’t change. “I’m fine. Hasn’t affected me any. Can we change the subject?”

And so they did.

No one really thought about it for a few more weeks. Not until the night Jester fell asleep in the living room with Nott, halfway through a braid in Nott’s long hair.

Caleb was sitting up, reading by candle light, when he heard the door to his room creak open. Beau’s head looked around the door and she cleared her throat and looked away when she caught his eye. “Sorry, uh- wrong room.” Which didn’t make any sense because Caleb’s room was the most separated from the other bedrooms.

As she moved to leave and close the door behind her, Caleb called out. “Ah, Beauregard. You can sleep in here. It is alright.”

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, I’ve got my own room.” But she didn’t close the door.

“I will not ask any questions if that’s what you are worried about.” He pulled his spare blanket out from under the bed. Frumpkin gave him an irritated look because he had been using it as a bed but the cat hopped onto the wood floor and then leapt up onto the bed. Caleb took one of the pillows from behind his head and sat it on top of the folded blanket. “Here. You can use these.”

She hovered in the doorway for a moment, then stepped inside and shut the door behind her. She picked up the blanket he offered her and shook off the orange cat hair before laying it out on the floor.

“Thanks,” she said as she laid down. She folded the pillow in half and propped it under her neck. “Don’t… Don’t tell anyone about this?”

“Of course not. We would understand, you know. There is no reason to be embarrassed.”

He thought she might deny being embarrassed about it but she just sighed. “I know. I’m just… The things we’ve seen, the things that have been done to us… I just get scared sometimes.”

“Ja,” he muttered, blowing out his candle and laying his head down, staring at the ceiling. “Me too.”


End file.
